giefu

I just deleted my very first internet book club review (the one I did on The Name of the Wind). It went up about a year ago and every couple of weeks since I've gotten a youtube comment telling me how wrong I am, how stupid my opinions are and, occasionally, to go f*ck myself. The final straw came today with this little masterpiece:

( Cut for NSFW language )
I know that in a sense I am letting them win by deleting it (also I'm not sure what exactly they meant, their grammar and syntax are a little odd), but I honestly can't be bothered with that level of vitriol over a book I haven't read since I reviewed it (and, thanks to its fans, will probably never read again). I have other reviews in friendlier forums and frankly I am not in a happy place at the moment and I don't need the extra grief.

I've been doing some thinking in the wake of certain things: the ignorance of some Hetalia fans that we all saw over the weekend and and finishing Supernatural season 2 (and the subsequent viewing of this), mainly, and how both of these things made me think about how I was actually ashamed to think of myself as a fan of things that sometimes raise some very tricky and difficult questions. What right have I got to be a part of this? What right have I got to enjoy something that marginalises and trivialises real, hurtful issues?

So these twisty feelings have continued for a while, and then I read pyrrhiccomedy 's post about being proud of your fandom, and then I watched Glorious, which is about owning problematic stories and rewriting them to give those female characters the stories that the canon didn't give them, and well I came to the very unoriginal conclusion that I should stop feeling ashamed. Fandom has actually given me a hell of a lot. The fact that I'm here, right now, writing this post on a journal filled with my own fic and art, to amazing people that I would never otherwise have met speaks volumes about just how much of an impact fandom (and Hetalia fandom in particular) has had on me. I've written more, learned more, and grown more as a person because of it.

Well, very nice bandit, but where is this all leading?

I posted this because I wanted to give you all an apology. To me, this blog is my conduit to fandom, and I've realised that 'fandom' means all of you. And what lunatic wouldn't want to identify themselves with you lot? You're all awesome. I'm sorry I've been reluctant to do that. I will never be ashamed again.

7 Days of Happy/Good/Generally Joy-Inducing Things

day 01 | a song
day 02 | a picture
day 03 | a book/ebook/fanfic
day 04 | a site
day 05 | a youtube clip

day 06 | a quote
day 07 | whatever tickles your fancy

So! In light of my previous post, I'm going to put up this quote.


I never expected people to reply to that post, much less in the thoughtful and sympathetic way that you all did. I should have known better- one positive  thing that the internet has taught me (especially over recent days) is that the human capacity for empathy and understanding is much greater than you can ever imagine. And that whoever you are, whatever's got your goat today, it's never just you. Thanks guys.

And because I know religion isn't everyone's deal, here's some quotes about creativity courtesy of Jay Smooth (and some other guys).

p.s any suggestions for tomorrow? I was thinking of maybe doing a voicepost Q&A thing but I don't know how many of you are interested in hearing my outrageously posh British accent. Maybe you don't want to hear that! Maybe you have other things you want more of! Let me know, please!